Exhausted after an arduous fight against several mummies and having sent them to their windows in the Museum of Guanajuato, El Santo thought that there was nothing better to do next than a visit to his favourite Taco Stand to recover energy and muscles.
He did not imagine that he would take a slight surprise when he arrived at the entrance. Instead of people comfortably seated in pleasant commotion and attentive waiters, as he was accustomed, were two long rows flowing outside the establishment, amid a serious and tense atmosphere with a couple of occasional murmurs that sadly made him remember the Fridays at the bank. “This place has grown a lot in the last few months but never had such a crowding been created,” thought El Santo.
Near the frying iron, more solitary but no less busy than his subordinates, was the main taquero, an old acquaintance of our hero:
–Buenas afternoon Don Beto! – friendly greeted the silver masked, – Give me three tacos del pastor, please -.
-I have to apologize, mi Santo, no longer ordering directly with me, we have modernized to a computerized customer care system called SAP and first you have to pay your order in the left check-out line and pick it up in the counter line. It is a order of the owner of the franchise that there are no exceptions with celebrities or superheroes.- He responded while setting up six tacos, serving them on a couple of plates and passing them to the waiter who called with a sign, with the accustomed agility but added to a stress impossible to disguise.
Quietly and with an external patience that contrasted quite enough with the urgency of food that claimed their guts took place the fighting champion in the first line. The seasoning of the green sauce and guacamole they prepared there would worth it to him.
After about 10 minutes of robotic advance through the cola, flipping with the signs of affection of the couple in front of him was finally the turn of this:
“I want five tacos de asada for here, please,” said the young man.
– And you lady? – The cashier questioned.
– You give me one of carnitas. – she said shyly but with a doubt and resignation easy to read in her face.
– Are you going to ask just that? Did not you have a lot of hung …? – reacted immediately her partner.
– Are you calling me filthy gluttony full of fat!? – suddenly interrupted annoying the, admittedly, chubby woman, apparently it was one of so many Mexican women who to appear finesse in public used to ask for tacos one by one and thus to disguise the amount that really ingested, that could become even more than their companions. – Let’s go! I don’t want me ashamed more.- She continued, turning around with a loud gesture of indignation. Her apparent husband resigned himself to follow her looking on the floor.
Finally after being a spectator of the uncomfortable scene that added a couple of minutes more to load with his appetite the masked approached with the cashier lady:
– You charge me three tacos de pastor to eat here, please.
– With pleasure, sir, may I have your telephone number? She asked.
– Oh dear, sure you must be a great admirer of me and you are not bad at all – replied El Santo flattered and throwing flirtatious faces, – but my hurry at this moment is to sit down to eat some delicious tacos, apart you should know that I share with all but I am not Of any, and as I am a fighter some of my mov… –Gentleman,- interrupted the clerk before he extended, -I ask you for your telephone number to find you in our membership register, are you already registered with us?-.
Dismayed, El Santo turned to look around to confirm that he was really in a Taco Stand.
“I … I just want three tacos al pastor, not to work here,” he awkwardly answered.
Smiling, she continued:
– In order to provide the service, it is necessary to register as an official member, since otherwise I cannot charge you, we cannot make exceptions with celebrities or superheroes, please go to the registration module that we installed in the place of side to sign up, it will take only a couple of minutes, then come back with me and I will complete your order, thanks.
He started to feel like a baseball but at the same time he did not want to waste the time he had invested in obtaining this information, he was not going to miss being able to return to eating the characteristic guacamole he longed for at that moment, so El Santo quickly after the explanation was already in front of the enrollment module that fortunately had no queue.
-I cannot believe it, is you mister Santo! I am your biggest fan! – Exclaimed the modulist as soon as he saw him enter.
-Yes, yes,- the fighter replied, scratching a sheet of paper without seeing what it was, with a rudeness motivated by his growing hunger and longed for craving guacamole. – I want to register as a member of Taco Stand.-
– I will be happy to help you! – replied the worker, truly grateful of the scribble he had just made in the photo of his wedding.
– Which level of membership would you like to subscribe, TaConomic, TaComplete or TaConTodo? – He asked.
– The one necessary to quickly buy three tacos del pastor! – affirmed El Santo without stopping to reflect more.
– Very well, with the TaComical Membership will be enough then, only three requirements are necessary to complete the registration; your full name and copy of official identification confirming it, your telephone number and a verification of this by SMS and your address and proof of domicile in force.
The Santo felt dizzier after hearing these few requirements than after giving a mortal somersault in the ring, but fortunately since his incident with the SAT he was prepared by carrying a copy of both documents over his thighs under his licra pants, only he never thought he would need them to buy a pair of tacos.
-Here you have – he said, handing the documents over.
– Oh sorry, Mr. Santo, everything is correct but I cannot accept your proof of address, we require one of the last three months and this has three months and one day that was issued.
– You really will not accept me for one day? In addition to what does my address require a Taco Stand?
– I am sorry it is not me, if for me I prepared your tacos every day, but SAP is a strict Quality Total Management System, does not make exceptions with celebrities…
-Nor superheroes, yes I have heard that enough today, give me my papers.
Annoyed but only driven by the courage and the desire to take his frustration away El Santo went to the nearest payment office for home services, made a line in Customer Service to request an advance payment balance without debit and another in Cashier to pay, he took full care to carry the receipt issued in the strongest part of his suit; his right gluteus. He took it with the modulist, after that he went to the cashier’s row to which he clumsily flirted, paid for his three tacos del pastor and continued to wait for his order now in the line of the counter.
His stomach was already grunting louder than the mummies with which the day began.
His eyes shone when he saw that his order was being brought to him, but immediately they went out when he saw that these tacos contained the pork meat marinated only with onions and coriander.
– Where is the sauce? Where is the pico de gallo? AND WHERE IS THE GUACAMOLE? – this rude man asked in a brittle voice.
– Your TaConomical Membership is limited to these ingredients, if you want to acquire more you need to go to the registration module and update at least to TaComplete Membership but you will need to attach to your file a medical certificate stating that you are free of gastrointestinal conditions.- explained the waiter.
El Santo just went out to the street to turn to the sky and shout:
– NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! GUACAMOLEEEEEE!