El Santo and The Bureaucrats

El Santo sat down on his recliner, reading the elegant official letter for the second time. He could not believe what it said.

“The Government of the Republic acknowledges many valued contributions of the respected citizen El Santo…”
the letter begun. And continued listing his achievements in a dry bureaucratic fashion.

He had fought against mummies, vampires, werewolves and martians, and all of this while still having time to flirt with beautiful latinas. Up to this point he had never been afraid of the challenges.

But this time would be different. He was going to face to the most difficult challenge that has had, but he did not know it. The letter was an invitation to adventure where he was uncertain of the outcome.

“…We regret to inform you that your intended name change to El Murciélago 2 causes irrevocable damage in the Civil Registry and therefore the Office of the Presidency of the Republic had decided that you must change your name to a more suitable one, pending the Naming Board approval whereas it is in accordance to the National Law of Monographs (1689-1950) and annotated Civil and Commercial Codes (INTL KGF7611.A291928 .A52 1995).”

El Santo sighed; inconsistencies on its documentation would invalidate his Civilian Hero License, even being an official document created by the SEDESOL (Secretariat of Social Development) from the appearance of himself in the country, to regulate his influence as a public figure (being that this license declares him as such), legalize their violent acts against the crime and evil, and of course, the main priority; make him pay taxes on the potential benefits not necessarily monetary he will receive from their admirers and rescued persons, being their reception voluntary or not. Exercise his career in this situation, would earn him a big fine that, unable to pay, would send him to be a cellmate of old enemies that he himself sent to prison. That would be awful, in there they would be majority, he was not prepared to “pick up the soap”. He had a job to do as soon as possible.

After preparing for the trip and do some internet research, El Santo had finally organized a meeting to SAT (the mexican tax office) to get his RFC identification number. RFC stands for Registro Federal del Contribuyente (federal taxpayers registry). Without RFC code can do pretty much anything regarding business in Mexico. Including payment of taxes.

There is a certain president in a nearby country who would consider people who do not pay their taxes smart ones. But let’s not get there at this point.

El Santo recalled the instructions he had studied earlier.

“In order to get an RFC identification number one must first have a CURP code. CURP stands for Clave Única de Registro de Población and it is a unique identity code for both citizens and residents of Mexico.  It needed for obtaining most government services including opening a bank account. A non-citizen can have a CURP number only with a Resident status.  A visitor cannot get a CURP number.  Only the INM immigration office can issue CURP numbers to non-citizens. Or superheroes.”

Santo’s current name was registered as El Murciélago 2. And he had no idea how much trouble that would be causing.

The number as second surname was surely problematic. It was considered to be a similar when a name has a funny letter like “ä”. That is “A with dots” or “A con puntitos” as locals say. Funnily enough El Santo’s identification permit card had his name correctly and thus he headed to go to SAT to obtain RFC.

One can imagine El Santo’s surprise when SAT flatly refused to process any part of his application.
-Your name in the CURP system is entered differently as it says in the residence card.- a SAT officer said, -You need to go to INM to correct it.- finished.

-Cannot you just change the “2” and write it with letters (Dos)? It pronounce the same”, he asked them ignorantly. The response was a look that could freeze a flying bird in the air.

The INM immigration office has a layout that closely resembles a Kafka novel. To process the name change El Santo had to visit two floors. And in order to change floors one must first return to the lobby and register as a visitor to the second floor. And give away the passage permit to the first floor.oHow It is not possible to hold visiting permits to two floors at the same time. “Why not?” he wanted to ask, but decided not to, since he did not bring his sweater with him.

Finally, the INM officer heard his case and informed the superhero that it is not possible to enter numbers or umlaut in the CURP system because the IT system does not allow that. The reason why the physical card has the name correctly is because the CURP register system and CURP card system are different and do not share same data. El Santo had to inform this to the SAT “since it is their problem and we cannot do anything”.

Happy with the answer Santo called SAT and told them what INM agent had told him certain that they would understand and grant him the RFC number.

Well, guess what. SAT did not accept INM’s answer. They would refuse to process any RFC application before CURP system has name as it is written on the card. He would get either that or a written statement from INM that they cannot do. And INM officer told our hero that the agency has a policy to not to issue these kinds of statements as written documents.

Back to square one.

Fortunately, El Santo knew a senior official lady in the Mexican Foreign Ministry after rescuing her from an attempted kidnapping. She talked with INM officer and with the help of slight threatening suddenly it was after all possible to correct the name in INM system. Thus, after waiting for a couple of hours and visiting other floor El Santo now had his CURP record corrected.

Armed with the updated records he was now able to return to SAT. The first step there was to change his name in their systems.

-Why do you have to enter my information to your registers? Why do not you just share data with INM?- El Santo asked the SAT officer. The non-verbal answer gave away why their office does not need a machine for air conditioning.

The update operation required literally signing of total eight forms. During the process, He had to manually fill his full name, CURP and RFC numbers to sixteen fields with a pencil. All eight papers had to be signed by he and the officer. Finally, the officer requested a proof of address (gas bill) and a copy of that (which he cleverly had remembered to photocopy along with bringing the original bill with him). For some reason, it did not matter that the bill was not on his name.

– The bureaucrats, – El Santo cursed when exiting the office – how can one hope to win against them?